The Tour de France

Mr. Man and I started watching the Tour de France back in the Lance Armstrong days.  We would turn the TV on as soon as we woke up and spend the morning rooting for the US Postal Service team.  Those days are long gone, but we still look forward to watching one of our favorite sporting events every July.

The television coverage of the Tour de France is really exceptional. It is 50% compelling race coverage and 50% gorgeous travelogue.  Either of those elements alone make for a great viewing experience.

After a while, I began to see the Tour de France as a metaphor for the human condition.  Today, I’m going to explain just a few of the aspects that I find compelling and encourage you to think about how they apply to more than just cycle racing.

The Power of the Peloton

The term “peloton” literally translates to “little ball” and refers to the main field of cyclists in a race.  There are a lot of physics at play in cycling and the peloton creates advantages for the riders in the group through certain aerodynamic effects. The bottom line is that a group of cyclists, working together in a tight-knit group is eminently more powerful than the same number of riders would be if they were all working independently.

The Danger of the Peloton

While the peloton is eminently more powerful than the sum of its parts, it can also be a very dangerous place to be.  If one rider loses his line going around a curve, he can wipe out a whole mess of others.  Also, when someone in the middle begins to lag, the riders behind him are affected because there is no room for them to maneuver.  There is a trade-off between the advantage of the group and the peril of sacrificing one’s independence.

The Tragedy of the Break-Away

One of the most exciting parts of any stage is a break-away. An individual or small group of riders can often jump out to a substantial lead over the peloton.  I am always rooting for whoever makes the break to be able to hold on until the end of the stage.  Isn’t it natural to want to see someone’s extraordinary effort rewarded?

Here is where the tragedy of the break-away comes in.  No matter how strong or exceptional an individual is, he can rarely hold out long enough to win the stage. And while the entire peloton might not catch up to the break-away, at some point they will send a chase group who will.  It’s like a fox hunt.

The Advantage of the Privileged

One irony of the Tour de France is that although it is theoretically an individual competition, an individual can only succeed through the efforts of his team. In some ways, a cycle racing team is like any other team, with each member assigned a role.  There are sprinters and climbers and domestiques (they carry and distribute supplies to the rest of the team during the course of a stage).  However, the entire team effort is put toward the success of an anointed individual.  It’s as if at the end of the Superbowl, Tom Brady was declared the winner rather than the New England Patriots.

I’m not saying that this is good or bad, I don’t have any opinion about it in those terms.  What I find fascinating about it is how the game is, for lack of a better term, rigged to ensure that only certain individuals have a shot at winning.  As Americans, we are really big on the concept of a level playing field, where anyone who has the facility and determination at least gets to start from the same line.  But, in reality, there are a thousand little advantages sprinkled unevenly throughout the field.

Who knew that sports could be so deep?

I look forward to watching the Tour de France every year.  Not only because it is such a compelling sporting event held in such a spectacular venue, but because of the way that it illuminates the human condition.

The Tour de France runs through July 28 this year.  If you haven’t watched it before, I encourage you to check it out and let me know what you think!

Neighborhood Watch Cats

Now, we’ve all heard of guard dogs, they are usually a Doberman, or a German Shepard, or some other large-ish dog with a ferocious bark and a suspicion of strangers.  Around these parts we have another kind of security animal, neighborhood watch cats.  These are cats with the time and inclination to spend hours and hours every day looking at the window and the initiative to alert someone to unusual occurrences.

Anabel and Sally at their post

Anabel and Sally are proud (albeit unofficial) members of our (unofficial) neighborhood watch.  Although they don’t let their responsibilities as neighborhood watch cats interfere with their napping schedule, they do spend a substantial amount of their daily awake time monitoring the neighborhood from various locations throughout the house.

They have been active unofficial neighborhood watch cats since they were little kittens

When school was in session, mornings and afternoons were key watch times.  Anabel and Sally liked to do their part to make sure that all of the little children get dropped-off and picked-up from school safely.

Recently, I have caught Anabel yelling at the local blue jays to get off our lawn.  She also likes to watch out to make sure that our neighbor gets home safely from walking her dog in the evenings.  Sally’s post tends to be the front or back door.  He is very concerned about my sun exposure and does his best to make sure that I don’t spend too much time outside if he can help it.

An Intro to Chakras – The Thousand-Petaled Lotus

“Here is the supreme sixteenth kala of the moon. She is pure and resembles the young sun. She is as fine a thing as the hundredth part of a fiber in the stalk of a lotus. She is lustrous and soft like ten million lightning flashes and is down turned. From her, whose source is the brahman, flows copiously the continuous stream of nectar.”

Description of the Six Centres, Verse 46

Sahasrara – the crown chakra

We have been talking about the chakras based on the ancient, Tantric text, Description of the Six Centres. We have covered the six: muladhara, svadhisthana, manipura, anahata, visuddha, and ajna.  Last week, I indicated that ajna is the highest corporeal center.  So, what’s the deal with sahasrara?

Sahasrara is described as being located above the crown of the head, belonging to the plane of transcendence.  This is the terminus of Kundalini’s journey, when the energy of our lower chakras has allowed her to rise to the point at which she connects us to the divine consciousness of the universe.

When sahasrara is activated, the illusion of the individual dissolves. In this state there is no activity of the mind, no subject or object. The element of sahasrara is “adi tattva,” “adi” meaning “without beginning,” and “tattva” meaning “thatness” or “reality.” Here is only purity, clarity, light, love, and truth.

The sahasrara mandala possesses no special color or quality, its light contains all color vibrations united in pure light. It is described as a lotus flower with 1,000 petals arranged in 20 layers of 50 petals each.

Jung was not particularly interested in sahasrara.  To him this chakra was a philosophical construct, the ineffability of which put it beyond any psychological application.  He saw it as the logical conclusion of preceding chakras, but without practical value from an analytical psychology perspective.

Chakra Wrap-Up

Do you remember when we were just getting started on this topic, I said that there seemed to be something in the air as far as this was a subject that a lot of people were interested in right now? Maybe that has to do with the universality of the fundamental ideas of this concept?

Not to get all Jungian about it, but individuation and the sublimation of ego seems to be very strong in the collective unconscious at this time.  I keep running into the concept in lots of different places.  For example, I just read a book by Michael Pollan called, How to Change Your Mind (stay tuned, book review coming up shortly) about psychedelics as a tool to transcend ego. I also found myself listening to a podcast about meditation and when I stripped away all the jargon, the bottom-line objective of the various styles of Buddhist meditation practice (as I understood it) was to remove the ego from acting as a filter on the practitioner’s perception. When the guy talking finally got to the point, what I heard sounded a lot like what we covered in anahata, visuddha, and ajna.

The bottom line for me is that the chakras are one way of describing some sort of fundamental desire for cultivating a sense of what I would call inner peace and well-being. Kundalini yoga, the various types of Buddhist meditation, psychedelic therapy, or Jungian analysis are all just a few of the different paths that someone can take if they are interested in going on that sort of journey.

Thanks for sticking with me through this little adventure. I’d really love to know what you thought about the chakra series.  Were there any big questions that popped up for you?  Anything that you think that I could have explained better or that you would have liked me to spend some more time on?  Anything that didn’t make sense or that you think that I really got wrong?

Kitchen Scraps Garden

So, I went cheap on my veggie garden this summer.  Like REALLY cheap.  Instead of taking a big trip to the nursery and buying baby plants and/or seeds, I decided to see if I could grow some kitchen scraps. I am excited to report that it seems to be working (at least so far).

Huh?  Kitchen scraps?  What?

Well, it all started one day when I was making something with green onions. I hacked off the bottoms and instead of tossing the little root ends in the trash, I decided to go stick them in the garden and see what would happen.  They grew! And I could go pull one and stick the end back in the dirt and it would grow again!  I love having green onions handy like that.  So, I decided to see what else I could get to re-grow.

I picked celery and romaine lettuce for my next attempt.  These guys got a fresh cut to the bottom of the heart (since they didn’t already have roots starting like the green onions) and kept them in a little cup of water on the kitchen windowsill. They started growing leaves right away. I kept them in the window and just changed the water every couple of days.  Eventually I had the starts of some roots.  So, into the garden they went.

Celery didn’t miss a beat, but I was worried that I might lose the romaine.  So, I watered and watered and told him nice things and he got his bearings and started to thrive.  One of each is not going to be enough to keep me from having to go to the grocery store, so I think I will have to try my windowsill technique on some more kitchen scraps until I have a more robust little crop.

I also planted the end of a sweet potato that I had left sitting around long enough that it has sprouted.  The vine is doing great, I am hopeful that I might wind up with home-grown sweet potatoes at some point as well (I might not, someone was telling me something about having to plant the eyes of potatoes…so I don’t really know what is going to happen, it will be fun to find out!

An extra surprise treasure was that once I started watering my kitchen scraps, a little, baby tomato plant sprouted up.  Poor thing was probably a seed from one of last year’s abandoned cherry tomatoes.  At least now he has a reason to grow up and he won’t just be a lonely seed waiting for his moment of greatness.

One unintended consequence of kitchen scrap gardening is that I now have an overwhelming urge to start composting.  Why not let the rest of those kitchen scraps go to good use?  I’ll let you know when/if I get around to it.

Stories of the Great Ballets

I just finished perusing this book titled, Balanchine’s Complete Stories of the Great Ballets .  I won’t claim to have read it since I *may* have skipped the first 734 pages. Those pages contained an exhaustive catalogue of “great ballets” according to George Balanchine (from skimming the table of contents, it appears that some of those listed are greater than others). 

It is certainly a “great” reference tool and I will plan on keeping it handy for the next time that I’m going to see a pre-1977 ballet (this was the fifth edition).  I just can’t imagine that anyone would need/want to read that whole list.

The remaining 150 pages seemed interesting so I dug in. 

First was a chapter titled “How to Enjoy Ballet” where Mr. Balanchine explains his thoughts on how someone who is new to ballet should approach seeing a ballet performance for the first time.  What was interesting to me is how much importance he ascribed to familiarizing oneself with the music before one attends a performance.  He didn’t feel that it was necessary to have any technical knowledge of dance, just an appreciation for the skill of the dancers.

The other key piece of Mr. Balanchine’s advice for the novice balletgoer really made me smile. It was basically, “if you go to the ballet and you think you don’t like it, just keep going and eventually you will like it!”  I suppose that you could call that the “eat your vegetables” approach to ballet appreciation.  

The next chapter was “A Brief History of the Ballet,” followed by “Chronology of Significant Events in the History of Ballet.”  This was a detailed timeline beginning with Lorenzo de Medici (ballet was imported to France by Catherine de Medici as a part of courtly spectacles). I felt that I had a good grip on the timeline, dissemination, and evolution of ballet, but this had some interesting details in it that raised some questions – I have a few things to look into and will report back!

Next is a brief autobiography by Mr. Balanchine, “How I Became a Dancer and Choreographer.” 

Then, “Ballet for Your Children,” “Careers in Ballet,” and a glossary which contains some very good illustrations of positions and steps.  It was surprising to me how adamant Mr. Balanchine was that children shouldn’t begin studying ballet until they are eight years old.  It just goes to show how long I’ve been away from that world that his talk about dancers’ development was a bit shocking in its frankness.  It certainly isn’t the way that those things are talked about these days.

I love classic books, and this is certainly a great addition to my dance book collection.  If you have questions about a “great ballet,” please let me know and I can tell you what Mr. Balanchine has to say about it!

Sally is a Work of Art

Guys, I got the nicest surprise in the mail the other day. I mean, I always thought that Sally was a work of art, but now he really is!  Long story:

Going to the store to buy cat food was a pain in the butt.  That one pet food store doesn’t carry the right brand, the other one might only have a few cans and I’d have to go back every week or so.  Whatever.  I was annoyed. 

So, I started ordering from Chewy.com.  It’s great.  I set up an auto ship, but it sends me a notification every month so that I can change anything about my delivery.  Anything.  Like the type, or the quantity of cat food.  Or I can add a 40-pound bag of cat litter.  Or I can change the date.

Last month, I got my auto ship notification.  But I needed cat food like the next day, not the next week.  So, I changed the date to “ship now” and it did. It shipped THAT DAY.  And it was delivered before dinner time the next day.  How great is that?

Mr. Man had piled up the four cases of cat food on the dining table.  Sally knows what his dinner looks like and he wanted to let us know that he was ready for some as soon as we wanted to give it to him.

Long story short: I sent Chewy.com this photo of Sally with his thanks for the prompt delivery.  They wrote back a hilarious message full of pet puns (I thought I was bad).

Then last Friday, I found a fancy, metallic blue, padded envelope in my mail from Chewy.com.  I know that I hadn’t ordered anything recently and had no idea what it could be.

Inside was a very sweet, hand-written note and this beautiful painting of my handsome Sally based on the photo that I had sent them!  Isn’t that just the most thoughtful gesture?  As if getting multiple cases of canned cat food and 40-pound bags of cat litter delivered to my door without having to pay for shipping isn’t fantastic enough.

Sally’s favorite part of our surprise delivery was the tissue paper which he thoroughly shredded before retiring for his afternoon nap.

Now I just have to figure out how to get a painting of Anabel before she gets too jealous.

Anabel is not amused

An Intro to Chakras – Ajna

“This is the incomparable and delightful abode of Vishnu. The excellent yogi at the time of death joyfully places his prana here and enters that supreme, eternal, birthless, primeval deva, the purusa, who was before the three worlds, and who is known by the Vedanta.”

Description of the Six Centres, Verse 38

Ajna – the third eye chakra

The highest corporeal center is the ajna chakra.  Commonly referred to as the “third eye chakra,” this chakra is located between our two physical eyes and is considered the location of wisdom and of conscience.  It is considered a sacred spot.

Ajna translates as “command,” “authority,” “perceive,” “knowledge,” or “wisdom.”  Any of these translations relate to our accessing our conscience, our inner guide, our intuition. When our third eye is open, we are in touch with our intuition, we cut through the illusion of perception to access truth. It not only helps us to make good decisions, but at the extreme is said to give us access to psychic powers. With the opening of this chakra, the development of our wisdom and humanity is completed and we reach the bridge to divine consciousness.

The ajna mandala is described as a transparent lotus flower with two white petals, said to represent the nadis (energy channels), Ida (feminine energy) and Pingala (masculine energy). Ida and Pingala converge with the Sushmna nadi (the central energy channel which is the path of Kundalini) at ajna, creating a sense of oneness and unity.

Another way of looking at this is that at the ajna chakra, we become aware that there is no duality (light/dark, male/female, etc.) that these are just expressions of a continuum.  For example, rather than hot and cold, something is described as having more-or-less coldness.  In the same way, something isn’t bad, it is just lacking goodness to whatever degree. This realization creates psychic space where we can experience the bliss of the oneness of the universe.

The seed syllable of ajna is “om” which is believed to be the supreme sound of the universe and contain all other sounds. “Om” represents the three worlds (past, present, and future) that are accessed through the ajna chakra (the past and present are perceived with our physical eyes and the future is perceived by our third eye).

When we have a blockage at the ajna chakra, it may manifest in physical symptoms such as vision problems, headaches, migraines, and dizziness or in mental symptoms such as confusion and an inability to think clearly.  By opening ajna, we access our ability to see things without the projection and color of ego. We accept ourselves and others and to treat everyone (including our self) with love, understanding, and forgiveness. We have the clarity and wisdom to recognize the truth that is always around us and the knowledge that we can look within for the solutions to our problems.

Jung describes ajna as the pure sphere of detached observation.  Here you become a non-ego reality, a thing not even to be called “self.” The ego disappears completely; the psychical is no longer a content within us but we become contents of it.

And now it’s time to bring Maslow’s hierarchy back because here we can relate ajna to Maslow’s concept of self-actualization.  For Maslow, self-actualization is the level at which an individual is able to maximize their full potential. A self-actualized person is able to resolve the dichotomies inherent in life experiences through creative activity.  Wait, that sounds familiar…in the ajna chakra we realize that there is no duality…

Ok, so we have reached a higher level of consciousness when we no longer interpret the world around us in terms of opposing forces.  This is the detachment that enables us to view our existence without ego – we are not a part of the universe; we are one with the universe.

An Intro to Chakras – Visuddha

“He who has attained complete knowledge of the atma becomes, by constantly concentrating his mind on this lotus, a great sage, eloquent and wise, and enjoys uninterrupted peace of mind. He sees the three periods and becomes he benefactor of all, free from disease and sorrow and long-lived and like Hamsa, the destroyer of endless dangers.”

Description of the Six Centres, Verse 31

Visuddha – the throat chakra

The next chakra in our journey is visuddha, the throat chakra, also known as the purification center (visuddha translates to “especially pure”). The idea is that this chakra has the ability to process toxins (of both substance and ideas). Associated with self-expression and communication, the visuddha chakra relates to listening as well as speaking.

According to Hindu tradition, the mandala for this chakra is described as having 16 purple or smoke-colored petals, the color of wisdom and spirituality.  These represent 16 of the 25 powers that the practice of yoga can impart.

The center of the mandala contains a white circle, representing the full moon, contained within a sky-blue, downward-pointing triangle.  We learned in manipura that the downward pointing triangle represents the element of fire; however, the element associated with visuddha is ether and the materials that I reviewed neglected to explain the significance of this symbol which was previously associated with fire.  I am going to speculate that it may have something to do with the influence that manipura exerts on visuddha.  Think about ether as vibrations; the air (from anahata) is moved through the throat by the fire of manipura (like smoke rising in a chimney).  In the throat, the rushing air vibrates, creating sounds that are the words we speak.  The ethereal quality of those vibrations means that we also feel them throughout our entire body.

Inside of the mandala’s white circle is a white elephant, a symbol of luck, wealth, power, wisdom, and clarity.  The syllable for visuddha, “ham,” means “I am.”

An imbalance in visuddha may manifest in a fear of speaking, a lack of control over one’s words, lying, gossiping, the tendency to not listen to what others are saying, being verbally aggressive or even mean, or feeling a lack of purpose in one’s life. When blocked, a person may feel insecure, timid, and introverted, and may blame others for their own unhappiness. Think about a time when you realized that someone doesn’t have the faintest idea what they are actually saying, they are literally exhaling their thoughts and feelings with no awareness of what they are doing to other people.

A cause of blockage in this chakra is not speaking up for one’s self.  When we tolerate bad treatment and insults, that external negativity is like a toxin.  Speaking up for ourselves is purifying.  When our visuddha chakra is open, we are able to transform negative experiences into wisdom and learning.  However, we must be careful to not express ourselves with hurtful words, mean thoughts, and bad behavior. Authentic expression is not something that comes easily. One exercise that can be helpful is to pass your words through three gates before speaking: is it true? is it necessary? and is it kind?

“The truth should always be spoken with love and not with knives…”

Shree Mahaprabhuji, Hindu Philosopher

For Jung, in this chakra one steps beyond the empirical world and lands in the world of concepts – of psychology. Here we realize that the external thing that we think that we are reacting to doesn’t exist, it relies on our interpretation of it to have any meaning.  We become aware that everything is subjective. The world that we inhabit, for better and worse, is a reflection of our psyche.

This chakra actually inspired this entire series.  Here’s the story: I was at Consuelo’s and Arvindjeet’s yoga event in February.  We were just starting to get settled in and I began to have a terrible coughing fit.  Unbearable, tickly coughing.  Consuelo mentioned that she had had a cough like that before.  Later, when I asked her about it, she said that it was related to the throat chakra.  And down the rabbit hole I went.

An Intro to Chakras – Anahata

Above that, in the heart, is the charming lotus of the shining color of the bandhuka flower…It is known by its name of anahata, and is like the celestial wishing-tree, bestowing even more than what one desires…

Description of the Six Centres, Verse 22

Anahata – the heart chakra

When we want to demonstrate that something is meaningful or personal to us, we tend to spontaneously gesture to the center of our chest. Our atma (the essence of our true self) resides here in the anahata chakra, the heart center, much in the same way that the essence of an entire tree resides within one seed.

Anahata in Sanskrit means unhurt, unstruck, or unbeaten. The word is a “sound produced without touching two parts.” This refers to the concept of the sound of the celestial realm described in Vedic texts, the oldest known Hindu scriptures. Rather than two forces coming together in opposition, they co-exist without conflict, there is synergy and cooperation. We are able to experience things with a detached perspective, to “follow our heart,” to make decisions based on our higher self, not karma or emotions.

The location of anahata means that it affects not only the heart but the lungs, chest, arms, and hands. Having a blockage or imbalance in this chakra can manifest itself physically in respiratory or circulatory issues. Mental/behavioral symptoms may include co-dependence, manipulative behaviors, feeling unworthy, people pleasing, and/or antisocial behavior.

When anahata is activated and open, it is associated with love and compassion, charity to others and psychic healing. The more that the heart center opens, the more strongly and deeply we feel. This may reveal some past hurts, but by working through these feelings, we are able to let them go. Then we can access feelings of balance, calmness, and serenity and free ourselves from being bound to our emotions.

Although anahata is commonly represented by the color green these days, it has also been described as light blue, representing spirituality and unity, and symbolizing the purification resulting from the fire of manipura (think the blue center of a flame). The mandala for anahata is said to be surrounded by twelve red lotus petals.

In the middle of the mandala is a six-pointed star, formed by two intersecting triangles, highlighting the inner battle between spirituality and emotion. The center of the star is described as having a smoky color and containing a representation of a new moon, which relates to changeability we experience in this chakra.

The element for anahata is air. Think about how the heart is located within the region of the lungs and how closely the activities of the two organs are associated (for example, you might focus on breathing more slowly to calm your heart rate). Air symbolizes our connection to everything we encounter. It is also a force that has the ability to destroy (like a tornado) or can be utilized in a productive manner (like how the Bernoulli effect enables airplanes to fly).

Relating to the idea of air is the animal symbol for anahata, the black antelope. An antelope is fleet, shy, elusive, and graceful. For Jung the antelope symbolizes the efficiency and the lightness of our thoughts and feelings in the anahata chakra.

The seed syllable of anahata is “yam” which means to let go, to liberate, to give.

Jung describes anahata as the point that we become conscious of something which is not personal. We are able to separate ourselves from our emotions. Anahata serves as a bridge between lower and upper chakras, integrating the manifest with the spiritual. The first step in self-realization, recognizing one’s self in every living being – accessing the atma – happens in anahata.

An Intro to Chakras – Manipura

Above it, and at the root of the navel, is the shining lotus of ten petals of the color of heavy-laden rainclouds…Meditate there on the region of fire, triangular in form and shining like the rising sun…

Description of the Six Centres – Verse 19

Manipura – the solar plexus chakra

We have now arrived at the third chakra, manipura.  This chakra is located in the area between the navel and the diaphragm (the solar plexus) and is considered the center of emotions.  Manipura translates to “lustrous gem” or “many precious jewels.”  The “jewels” found when this chakra is aligned include qualities such as clarity, self-confidence, bliss, self-assurance, knowledge, wisdom, and wellbeing.

Think about terms like “go with your gut,” or “having a gut feeling.” These are examples of the intuition and wisdom that can be found within manipura.  But if this chakra is not activated, we may not feel comfortable trusting out gut, or we may react to things emotionally or irrationally.  When manipura is blocked, symptoms can manifest in digestion issues as well as low self-esteem, difficulty making decisions, neediness, or aggressive, rigid, and controlling behavior.

The mandala of manipura is surrounded by ten petals that represent the ten pranas which control the supply of energy to the body.  Prana describes the concept of a universal energy that runs through all things (I guess we could call it “the force”). It also describes the way that energy is received and utilized in the body.

Within the mandala is the shape of an inverted triangle representing energy, growth, and development. The triangle is also the symbol for fire, the element of manipura. Fire has many interesting applications in this context.  In one sense, the fire of manipura is the digestive fire (agni) which acts as the furnace powering the body.  When the energy of this chakra is blocked, the fire causes aggression, passion, and restlessness. When it is activated the fire means purification and refinement, offering us the opportunity to free ourselves from bad qualities and habits.

The syllable associated with manipura is “ram” which also represents fire and purification by burning.  And then, the ram is the animal represented within the mandala (I just love when things are matchy-matchy).  For Jung, the significance of the ram is that it is a sacrificial animal. You have already overcome the worst danger, the danger of being drowned in unconsciousness by the makara of svadhisthana, you don’t need to fear the ram. Sacrificing the ram by activating this chakra is to sacrifice your passions and take control of your inner power.

The thing that I found most interesting about Jung’s interpretation of manipura was the was that he explained it as the rebirth following the symbolic death of svadhisthana.  He linked this chakra, the fire center, to the rebirth of the initiation rites of the ancient Egyptian sun cult, the Greek myth of Apollo, and Christian baptism. So manipura is where one becomes part of the divine substance, having an immortal soul.

Activating manipura only bring Kundalini to the mid-point of her journey to connecting with the universe, but it gives us access to a tremendous amount of personal power.  I’m looking forward to considering what the remaining chakras have in store for us.  I have a gut feeling that it is going to be something good.