An Earful of Sweet Talk

I always make an effort to speak sweetly to my pets.  Anabel and Sally have gotten an earful of sweet talk their whole lives.  But I think that even if they didn’t know what I’m saying (they do of course because they are so smart) that they can tell by my tone of voice that it is something nice.

But something about my darling Sally has turned me into Lisa Vanderpump!  If you aren’t a Bravo TV addict, suffice it to say that she is a peculiar British lady with pet swans, miniature horses, and a whole pack of blonde, shaggy dogs (I don’t know why she doesn’t have any cats, she seems like the perfect candidate for a fluffy, white Persian or two).  Her star dog, Giggy (short for Gigolo) is a catatonic Pomeranian with alopecia who wears pajamas and she or her husband carry everywhere.

When Lisa talks to her animals, she says things like, “aren’t you sexy?”  She calls Giggy her little “sex monster.”

Now, Sally is about three times the size of Giggy and maybe not-quite as pampered, but I sure love to hold him in my arms and whisper sweet nothings in his ears.

I really don’t know when or why I started talking to him as if I was Lisa Vanderpump. It’s been going on for a while though. I will hold him and say things like, “hello lover,” “aren’t you handsome,” and “aren’t you sexy.”

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We have these morning cuddle sessions that I refer to as “making out.”  I pick him up and he lays back in my arms so that I can rub his tummy.  He will grab my petting arm with both of his front paws and lick my hair like he’s trying to groom me. He purrs his brains out and I tell him how sexy he is and kiss him on the nose.

I know that my feelings are reciprocated because Mr. Man tells me about the way that Sally cries when I leave for the gym in the morning. Sure, it might be close to his breakfast time, but I know that it’s really because he wants more snuggles.

Even though I like to think that I want to carry him around with me everywhere I go, the blush would be off the rose pretty quick with that daydream.  Yes, he’s a cat with a sensitive disposition and would freak out, but also, he’s heavy! I love to pick him up and hold him but carrying him around for long periods of time would definitely get old.  

I do my best to speak sweetly to Mr. Man as well, but sometimes he gets jealous of the attention that I give Sally.  I mean Mr. Man is cute and all, but he’s got nothing on Salvatore Tessio Gellis. When he starts to get his feelings hurt, the best thing to do is make him hold Sally.  That cat is so sweet and soft and lovely that even Mr. Man can’t resist his cuteness.