This Friday, November 13^th is World Kindness Day, a holiday established in 1998 by The World Kindness Movement, an international consortium of NGOs, for the purpose of encouraging people to create a kinder world. I’m not really clear on what they mean by that, but it seems to have something to do with supporting projects that align with the United Nations sustainable development goals.

Did you know that there is also a Random Acts of Kindness Foundation? I didn’t either. The organization’s mission is to, “Make Kindness the Norm.” They suggest that an individual can celebrate World Kindness Day by intentionally engaging in random acts of kindness such as buying someone a cup of coffee or giving someone a compliment. I tend to think of these things more as “random acts of niceness” but that’s alright. One of my favorite random acts of niceness is sending someone a card in the mail for no reason. I mean, isn’t it exciting to get mail from an actual person! But phone calls and texts are nice too.

I thought it would be interesting would be to examine the distinction between being ‘kind’ and being ‘nice,’ so I went to the dictionary. While ‘nice’ is defined as, “polite, kind, pleasing, agreeable, appropriate, fitting,” the word ‘kind’ is defined in the Merriam Webster Dictionary as, “of a sympathetic or helpful nature.”

I like to think about kindness as being a little bit more than just doing something nice for someone. For me, an act of kindness is a compassion exercise in which I separate a person from their beliefs and/or actions in my heart. I may disagree with someone or not like their behavior, but still have sympathy (and sometimes even empathy or compassion) for them as a person. By doing so, I am better able to interact with that person in a kind manner.

Remember that story, The Box that I published last month? I would say that kindness kind-of ties into the ideas expressed in that story. It is an act of kindness to not put someone in a box based on one facet of their personality but to acknowledge that people are complex creatures who may not necessarily be defined by one element of their beliefs and/or actions. It’s like that thing about not defining yourself by your feelings (ex: I am angry) but acknowledging that you are a person having a feeling (I feel angry) applied to someone else.

This doesn’t mean that an act of kindness requires you to be a pushover or condone someone’s behavior. It’s like Brené Brown says, “Strong back, soft front, wild heart.” Know who you are and what you believe. Then be willing to accept other people for who they are and what they believe.

Here’s the thing: there will still be people who you just don’t agree with. You might plain old just not like someone. But what if you chose to face them with kindness rather than confrontation? Maybe your strong back, soft front, wild heart will inspire the same in someone else. You could start a chain reaction of kindness.

World Kindness day is Friday, but why not start today? You could even throw in a random act of niceness or two while you’re at it.

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When I was younger it felt like a waste of time.  Why would I want to spend time relaxing in comfortable postures when I could be sweating?  I usually found myself spending those last few moments of class in shavasana (corpse pose, the traditional last posture of yoga class) thinking about what I was going to eat after I left.

In my previous post about yoga, I mentioned that I am more interested in doing less strenuous yoga these days.  I still like my regular yoga practice to include a good sweat and at least a few moments of “yikes!”  But I also have an appreciation for the occasional restorative yoga class.

My neighbor around the corner goes to the same gym as I do and one day we were chatting about our various workouts and the different yoga classes that our gym offers.  He mentioned that sometimes he likes to take this one restorative yoga class that uses lots of bolsters and blankets – it was like having nap time.  I admitted that I have fallen asleep in restorative yoga classes before.  One time I am pretty sure that I was snoring!

Usually restorative yoga classes will move through a few postures in a slow and gentle manner, then transition into an extended shavasana (or, as I seem to think of it, nap time).   Substituting a quick nap for your workout is not the point though.  The ultimate purpose of any style of yoga is to prepare you for meditation.  Restorative yoga just chooses to go about this in a different way than more active, physically strenuous styles.

Props

A restorative yoga class will tend to make extensive use of props such as blocks, bolsters and straps.  As someone who was once young, aggressive and extremely flexible in yoga class, I have only recently developed an appreciation for using these kinds of props.  Using props in various postures as a sort-of bridge to connect your body and to the ground isn’t about making something “easier.”  The connection enables the body to release tension and you can experience a posture more fully, if not more deeply. 

Yin Yoga

One restorative yoga class that I would take from time to time was a yin yoga class.  In yin yoga, you hold each posture for at least two minutes.  Fortunately, the postures are not balances or inversions, but mostly seated and laying-down positions.  It is a really interesting practice because you when you spend so much time in a posture, you really have the opportunity to look into all the dark corners that are easy to ignore when you aren’t holding the position for as long.  I discovered things that I didn’t like about postures that had been my favorites like baddha konasana (aka bound angle pose, or butterfly stretch).  Even holding child’s pose for two minutes can be intense.

When I don’t fall asleep in shavasana, I do still find my mind wandering.  But another advantage to restorative yoga for me is that it doesn’t have to be done on an empty stomach, so I can often coax myself out of obsessing about food for at least a few minutes.

Wisdom, kindness, and love. Namaste.

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