Here is my Halloween story.  As Loretta Lynn would say, it is all true, even the parts that didn’t really happen.

Headless Mike

In 1918 Vern Pickle, died in Long Beach.  He was 19 years old.  Vern had gone to the cyclone coaster at the Pike on his day off to try to retrieve a hat belonging to a young lady friend (what a chivalrous guy).  He rode the car up to the top and hopped out.  When he bent over to retrieve the hat, the car coming the other way on the parallel track decapitated him.  His body washed up on the beach the next day, but his head wasn’t found until a month later, lying among the rocks at near the jetty. It is said that Vern’s ghost still roams the City, ready to lend a hand.

Source: Claudine Burnett, author of Died In Long Beach

Our first Halloween on Vermont Street, I was surprised to be the only house on the block putting up decorations.  But the idea caught on and these days is fairly competitive.

The signature of my Halloween decorations is Headless Mike, affectionately named after my husband, Mike with a head.

Headless Mike is made from some of Mike’s old clothes that I pilfered from the Goodwill bag, stuffed with newspaper.  He even has “hands” made from old gardening gloves. Headless Mike spends the month of October sitting comfortably in a chair on the front porch. I’d like to say that he keeps an eye on things, but since he doesn’t have a head, being a lookout really isn’t his thing.

Now, even though I am the one who created Headless Mike in the first place, I continue to be regularly startled by the specter of this “person” sitting on my front porch.  There is something about his size and the fact that he is wearing real clothes that lends an air of authenticity to the month-long porch-sit. I’m not the only one, real Mike and especially our poor mailman are also often startled throughout October.

Real Mike is a friendly and easy-going guy.  He cares about his neighbors and his neighborhood.  But there are a few things that get him really riled up. One is people who don’t pick up after their dogs, another is littering.

Last October I put up all of my Halloween decorations, including Headless Mike.  Real Mike and I were out front admiring my handiwork and discovered that someone had left a giant dog turd on the parkway. 

Oh, the rant that followed!  How he was going to install cameras, that if he caught whoever it was, he was going to follow them home and leave it at their front door, how people who don’t pick up after their dogs shouldn’t be allowed to have animals … and so on.

I looked over at Headless Mike and asked him if next time he would please scare that guy out of letting his dog poop on our lawn because real Mike isn’t as young as he used to be, and he can’t take all the aggravation.

A few days later, I was out talking to my neighbor who is always up on the latest neighborhood gossip. She told me how her son Charlie had been walking to school the day before and when he passed the house around the corner where the big German Shepard lives, he smelled, then saw a GIANT pile of dog poop on their front step.

“Mom, it was piled right against the door, probably three-feet high!  You KNOW that when they opened the door that it all came spilling in!”

I couldn’t stop laughing.  But my gosh, who would pull a prank like that?

A few weeks later, the party girl with the Toyota Camry thought that we had forgotten about the last time we caught her littering and parked in front of our house again.  This time I didn’t notice any trash on the ground when I left for the gym, but Mike discovered her discarded Del Taco leftovers after she drove away. 

“Why wouldn’t she just put this in the trash! Doesn’t she know that all this stuff winds up in the Ocean?”

She came back that night and when I was heading to the gym the next morning, I noticed that her car seems kind of full of stuff. That’s weird. Oh well, gotta get to spin class.

Well, when I got home, Mike couldn’t wait to tell me how apparently someone had filled her car with trash.

“She was FREAKING out! She started tossing it out on the ground and all the kids and parents on their way to school started heckling her! She was crying, it was a whole scene.  I went out there with a trash bag to try to help her out, but she just shoveled it on the ground and drove off. Lots of people stopped to help me pick it up. She won’t be coming back this time for sure.”

All month long, I kept finding empty Coors Light cans on the front porch next to Headless Mike’s chair.  It was a little creepy. Mike doesn’t hang out on the front porch. Who was leaving empty beer cans out there?

Then one morning, I was leaving for the gym a little earlier than usual.  When I stepped out on the front porch, I found Headless Mike with a half-full can of COLD Coors Light in his gardening glove hand!

Ok, so this creature made of old clothes stuffed with newspaper was roaming the neighborhood in the wee hours of the morning, magically avenging wrongdoing. Sure. Why not?

But HOW WAS HE DRINKING BEER?  HE DOESN’T HAVE A HEAD!

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You know how I love my group exercise classes at the gym?  Well, one of the reasons is that I always meet such nice and interesting people there.  One really wonderful woman who I met in yoga class (she is also a fellow member of Rachel’s cycle groupies) is the owner and designer of her own gift-ware business called Ore’ Originals. They make happy products for good people and pets.

I love creative people, so when someone mentions that they are a designer, I always want to know more.  Lisa really did start this business in her garage.  Now she has this awesome facility with light-filled offices and her warehouse on site. 

Lisa has this beautiful energy, it’s like practicing yoga next to a sunny day.  I think that she infuses that energy into her products, I mean, I’ve never had such a happy feeling looking at baby teethers before.

She is always working on new ideas and making sure that her products are safe as well as attractive and useful.  When I visited her, she showed me some new products that they were just coming out with and some concepts that were still in development.  She also told me about how they send samples for testing to make sure that there aren’t any dangerous chemicals.

Ore’ Originals has three lines:

Sugarbooger

Sugarbooger is the kids line.  The core product line – sippy cups, divided plates, suction cup bowls, lunch boxes and accessories, etc. come in so many super adorable patterns that Lisa created.  Of course my favorites are “Go Kitty Go!” (because what is better than kitties and bicycles?) and “Flamingo.”

Ore’ Pet

Ore’ Pet is the pet line (surprise!).  I know Lisa as a fellow cat lady, but it seems that the pet line started when she had a pet dog (that’s ok, I won’t hold it against her).  Now, they carry almost as many cat products as dog products.

As a new baby kitten present, Lisa gave Anabel and Sally a set of these beautiful kitty dishes.  I had been feeding them out of tea saucers but Anabel would step, then sprawl onto her dish (she was a slob).  These precious little dishes solved the problem and helped her learn proper table manners.  I love the aqua with the pretty, orange rim.  I also love how the pattern on the dish is textured, it’s a lovely touch.

These “Wish You Were Here” toys are so beyond cute.  They would make really pretty Christmas tree ornaments, don’t you think?

Living Goods

Living Goods is the original line which encompasses all sorts of fun around-the-house-type things.  It’s the stuff for grown-ups and the products are all based on the idea of eclectic home organization. 

There are three styles of mugs: “Pop of Color”, “Cuppa This Cuppa That,” and “Cuppa Color.”  All the designs are really cute, I would hate to have to pick a favorite.  My neighbor had one of her mugs that he really loved, I would see him running out to catch his ride to work with his Ore’ coffee mug in hand.  He said that it had a “great mouth feel” as opposed to that coffee mug that I had once that would trick me into dribbling coffee down the front of my shirt pretty much every time I used it (I’m not kidding!  I thought it was me, but my drinking problem stopped when I switched mugs).

There are fun tabletop things like placemats and coasters.  And how brilliant are these chalkboard placecards?  I feel the sudden urge to plan a party.

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Kitsch: (noun) art, objects, or design that appeal to popular rather than high art tastes.  Such objects are sometimes appreciated in a knowingly ironic or humorous way.

Do you have a kitsch signature?  That one, ubiquitous thing that people see and think of you?

I recently sent a friend a cute cactus something-or-other.  It was the second cactus trinket I had given her in a short timeframe.  She said that cactus was becoming her pink flamingo and that gave me the idea for this post.

My kitsch signature is pink flamingos.  I don’t know why I am so enamored of pink flamingos, but I have been since at least high school.  I did go through a ruthless purge of my accumulation of flamingo objects about 20 years ago.  Of course, in 20 years the collection has regrown and then some.  I’m not complaining, it’s fun. I have so many wonderful pink flamingo treasures that were gifts from thoughtful and generous friends, it is a lovely device to remember people.

My other kitsch collection is even more obvious: I also have a deep abiding love of cat trinkets.  So many of these lovely treasures were also gifts from thoughtful friends.  It is always so nice to look at these things and remember where they came from and think about the person who gave it to me.  Of course, I am always on the lookout for a gorgeous cat figurines on my own, especially ones that look like my cats, but who wouldn’t be?

One of my most treasured flamingo objects is a Hallmark ornament from 1994.  I love this guy hanging out in his beach chair, he speaks to my soul.

Some of the categories that my flamingo collection inhabits include:

• Dishtowels
• Trinket boxes
• Mugs and plates and wine glasses and measuring cups and even a butter dish
• An unusual number of drink stirrers (metal, glass, and plastic)
• Beach gear – towels, cooler bag, and even clips to hold your towel on your chair
• Some of the most treasured flamingos are Christmas ornaments or have been repurposed into Christmas ornaments for the flamingo tree

I’m part of the problem but my sister has been the biggest enabler historically speaking.  We finally came to an agreement: when she (or my nephews) are out shopping and find something flamingo, instead of buying it, she will take a picture and text it to me. It has been a highly satisfying arrangement.  She lets me know that she (or my nephews) are thinking of me and I don’t have the guilt of trying to find somewhere to put something that she has spent her hard-earned money on.

Sometimes though, it is worth every penny to enable a friend’s kitsch signature (whether or not they want another darling trinket).  And it can be so easy!  You know that you’ve been out shopping and seen something that someone you know just has to have.

Here’s an abbreviated list of things that I have to try really hard to keep myself from buying for someone every time I see one (you know who you are):

• Cactus
• Monkeys
• Turtles
• Llamas
• Flowers
• Octopus
• Palm trees
• Pineapples (the international symbol of hospitality)
• Dragonflies

Do you have a kitsch signature?  When did it begin? Do you remember your first piece and/or the piece that flipped the switch?

Fair warning: your answers may be used against you.

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And there is the flamingo tree, the best Christmas tree of all.  Oh, the flamingo tree is so beautiful, a white tinsel tree with only pink flamingo ornaments.  Last year I sewed a flamingo Christmas tree skirt for her, it’s reversible.  All the rest of my holiday décor is red and green, but the flamingo tree stands alone, a beautiful pink and white treasure.

A few years ago, my mom sent me a ladder for my birthday.  It is one of those great convertible ladders that goes from step-ladder mode to big-tall mode.  She was sick of listening to me complain about how hard it was to put up my Halloween and Christmas decorations and decided to provide me with the tool to solve my decorating woes.  And it worked!  Ever since I got that ladder, Mr. Man has put up the Christmas lights on our little bungalow every year.

Our neighbors next door on both sides and across the street go with the old-school, large, multi-colored bulbs.  We go with warm white icicle lights.  It’s a nice contrast.

When Mr. Man put up our lights after Thanksgiving, it was a 75+ degree day.  We decided that it was nice that he put up the Christmas lights so that we would know that it was winter, otherwise, we might not have noticed.

Inside is another story. Because we have these two wonderful treasures living here named Anabel and Sally.  And I am very confident that anything that I put out would be interpreted to be new cat toys.  The fireplace is still filled with boxes so that they can’t get in there (they still are trying), I don’t even know what I think will happen if I try to hang the stockings.  I managed to sneak in my meager collection of nutcrackers and the Christmas card wreath but that is pretty much it.  This year my indoor holiday decorations are on a break.

Even though I miss my flamingo tree, I would be so sad to be cleaning up the aftermath of a kitten attack on it.  Fortunately, I have many photos from last year so that we can all enjoy it virtually.

As much as I like to have my holiday decorations up right away after Thanksgiving, I want everything packed up and put away before the new year.  So, the upside to this indoor decorating minimalism is that my New Year’s Eve cleaning binge is going to be much simpler this year.

I will be taking the next few weeks off and will be back on January 7^th.  I will look forward to catching up with you in 2019!

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In one of the upstairs bedrooms were some very 1960’s hutches.  One caught my eye because it was fairly narrow.  I have this wall in the dining room that I would love to have a hutch of some sort on, but the wall is only 32” wide.  I asked my friend, “does this look like it’s under 30” wide to you?” Of course, she is the most prepared person ever and proceeded to pull a measuring tape out of her purse.  Yup, 30” exactly.  Oh man, should I get it?  $100 later, we had removed the top from the base and shoved both pieces into the back of my car.

Mr. Man was NOT happy when I got home.  “Where is that going!?!”  I explained, first it is going into the garage, then after I paint it, it will go where that bookcase is in the dining room.  “And where is the bookcase going?” I will find it a new home, somewhere else, not in our house.  Hasn’t he learned to trust me by now?

My dream for this monstrosity was glossy, kelly green with gold accents.  Bright colors, shiny finishes, and Chinoiserie are not really part of my decorating scheme.  It’s not something that would necessarily go with anything else in our house.  But that is what it told me that it wanted to be.  A statement piece.

I decided to use spray paint because I figured it would be the easiest (if messiest) way to get the result that I wanted.  I am not a great spray painter. I wish I had gotten a more even finish, but I am still happy with the results.

The hardware was brass painted white.  I was expecting to have to paint the hardware gold (and ultimately replace it), but after a little soaking in warm, soapy water and a little scrubbing  with a scotch brite pad, the white paint came off and I had exactly the look I wanted.

I want to do something else with the backboard accent paper.  This gold leopard print didn’t quite do what I was looking for, but it’ll do for now.  Getting this guy painted and moved in the house was enough of an undertaking that I’m giving myself a little break before I dive back into finding the perfect pattern for the backboard.

I love having these drawers for placemats, napkins, tablecloths, trivets, etc.  There is plenty of space to keep lots of my entertaining things handy yet out of sight and that just makes me so happy.  I love the green color and the bamboo details.  Even though it totally doesn’t “go” with anything else in our house, it works in my crazy lady, eclectic mess decorating aesthetic.  Success!

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When I first started decorating for Halloween years ago, no one else in the neighborhood was playing along.  Nowadays I’ve got the next-door neighbors making a point of out-doing me and a good number of the houses all the way down the block getting into the spooky spirit!

My cornerstone decoration is Headless Mr. Man.  He sits out on the front porch every year and probably startles me and my living, breathing Mr. Man more than everyone else (what is that guy doing on my front porch?!). Originally, Mr. Man did not appreciate the awesomeness of some of his old clothes stuffed with newspaper sitting in a chair, but one day a junior high kid walking to school let him know it was cool and since then I get slightly less grief from him about it.

I used to make a point of putting all my decorations out at once and then that was it.  This year, I’m taking it a bit slower because I don’t want to put out the gravestones until I get the witch who crashed into the wisteria bush fleshed out a little bit better.

Next door apparently has a giant spider invasion.  This guy will probably catch himself a kindergartener or two before the month is over.  Come to think of it, I haven’t seen my neighbor much recently.  Hmmm…

Now, I’m going to show you some photos of my all-time favorite decorations.  I thought this house was the BEST and would go out of my way to drive by as often as possible.  I mean, this shipwreck! You should have seen it at night!  There were lights and a fan – I mean the wind – that would whip through the tattered sails.

This was the next year:

I always wanted to stop by or send them a card letting them know how much I appreciated their AWESOME decorations, but I never did.  And they moved away. I still wish that I had taken a moment to let them know.

Maybe someday, I will have an incredible pirate shipwreck and sea monster in my front yard.  I’ll add it to my list of things to do in-between things.

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